Decade 4

From March

Yesterday I turned forty. I know, I look thirty right? RIGHT? Well after a little Smith's pity party Ooooooh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head.... I decided take that Johnette Napolitano's lead and be the baddest old lady I can be. So really, I'm ok, just a little confused, and I hear that won't clear up any time soon.

Of course Kris told me that I was officially old when I got upset over the Olympic snowboarding event a couple of weeks ago. I was irritated for several legitimate reasons which I will now yell to you from the rocker on the front porch as you glaze over and try and amuse me by "listening".

• Olympic Snowboarding? In my day there you had a sled made out of trash can lid, and YOU LIKED IT!

• Sean White needs to get a haircut. He looks ridiculous.

• WHY are their pants halfway down their asses? Are we old school rappers or athletes? Have a little respect for the games.

• If you need the use of your legs for an event why not give yourself free motion? Wear the lycra bodysuit like the lugers, and get rid of those silly bandanas.

• Why do they get to listen to their iPods when they go for a run? Did Leonidas of Rhodes where a walkman when he ran? I think not.

• Half pipe? I think most of them had a full pipe. Hippies.

But even with all my grumping, I loved it and thought what they did was absolutely amazing. So I can't be that far gone. But yes, I do have the beginnings of my crusty coating. Welcome to decade number four. Hold on to your hats, it's going to be a BUMPY ride.

From March